The stereotype that women are only interested in relationships for money is a long standing one, and has most recently been propagated vigorously on social media. Online posts suggest that women materialistic and manipulative, and that any display of romantic feeling is fake. This briefing looks at the gold-digger stereotype as it is applied online, particularly in the context of women in China.
A popular saying in certain online subcultures is “alpha fucks, beta bucks,” which refers to the belief that women prefer attractive men for hook-ups, but will eventually settle for wealthy men for stability. The word “hypergamy” is often thrown around in this context. It refers to the process of forming a relationship with someone of a higher social standing. The view that all women are hypergamous does not do justice to the complicated realities of women’s dating preferences. The memes and trending posts that spread such stereotypes make it harder for women to fight against these perceptions.
A recent discussion on Reddit, captured below, demonstrates the reality of this discourse on the internet. A user complains about modern dating, claiming that women only aim to exploit men for their money. The post also suggests that women will accuse men of something without reason, and portrays women as manipulative and deceptive. The user reduces women’s motivations to greed and encourages suspicion towards them, completely disregarding the variability of women’s character and the complex relationships they have with men.
The ‘Gold-Digger’ Label: A Gateway to Misogyny
When women are constantly portrayed as money-hungry or deceitful, it contributes to a culture where men look down on and distrust them. The “manosphere” refers to online spaces where content is made by, and distributed for, men and boys (oftentimes carrying an anti-feminist narrative). In these spaces, you’ll find men sharing stories about feeling “tricked” into relationships, only to feel like they were used for their money. These stories create an atmosphere where all women are seen as potential exploiters.
Many successful women face skepticism about their achievements, as people brush off their hard-earned success as something they achieved illegitimately by exploiting their looks or charm. Those who propagate the gold-digger stereotype feed into this narrative by implying that women don’t really earn their success; instead they manipulate men or take advantage of others to get ahead. This kind of thinking has real consequences; women in high-paying or powerful jobs often deal with suspicion, as many assume they “slept their way to the top” or did something unethical to get there. Social media only makes this situation worse.
The following post from X shows the way in which the “gold-digger” stereotype is employed to paint women as manipulative and materialistic in nature, with the phrase “hypergamy doesn’t care about your sacrifices” draining women’s agency and portraying relationships as fundamentally transactional. These narratives, typical within male-dominated online spaces, generate distrust towards women and undermine their achievements.
Cultural Pressure: The ‘Leftover Women’ Dilemma in China
Chinese women are caught between two dilemmas. If they are past a certain age and still single, they are referred to as “leftover women.” This term shows how, according to deeply ingrained cultural assumptions, woman’s value is highly dependent on her marital status. At the same time, the “gold-digger” stereotype blames women for marrying men who are more financially successful than they are themselves.
These conflicting messages make things difficult. Women are told to marry early so that they don’t get “leftover,” but they are blamed for the level of success with which they manage to get a more successful or wealthier husband. The “leftover women” discourse conveys the idea that a woman’s value is largely based on her relationships, rather than on her own achievements. These societal expectations push women to seek higher-status partners, because their worth gets reduced to that of their partner. But if a woman internalizes these societal expectations and seeks a financially secure partner, then she is labelled as a gold-digger.
The following screenshot shows a comment on a viral Youtube video about China’s so-called “Gold-Digger Industry”. The comment, with over two thousand likes, says that “‘Girls love money, yet men cannot afford the money that girls want’, and concludes that “love is the least factor in marriage”.
This argument ignores the bigger picture. There are expectations placed on men in China to purchase houses and cars, which are often considered mandatory prior to marriage. Instead of uncovering the actual reasons for the financial expectations placed on men—rising cost of living and changing social values—the comment unfairly blames women for being greedy or materialistic. Not only does such rhetoric reinforce negative stereotypes; it also stigmatizes single women as being too demanding.
If You Are the One is a very popular dating show in China. Manuo, a guest on the show, became known publicly as a “gold-digger” because she said, “I’d rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bicycle.” The show and the media closely tied Manuo’s statement to her personal image through constant reporting and discussion, and she eventually became the focus of a public narrative. Below, a popular comment on a video about Manuo claims that “now everyone thinks like her”; expressing the popular sentiment among Chinese men that Chinese women are all gold-diggers. In response, a commenter writes “women started being allowed to think that way, instead of being put in their place and taught to have baseline standards”.
Although many years have passed since Manuo’s “BMW girl” case, her “gold-digger” label has not disappeared. In 2024, a news article wrote of Manuo that she is “now 30 years old and has entered the stage of ‘leftover women’ […] I don’t know which wealthy man can take her.” This statement judges Manuo’s personal choices and portrays her as a failed woman. This labeling reflects a social and cultural issue: whether the value of women can only be measured by marriage and economic status.
Manuo has publicly talked about her experience of domestic violence on social media, but many netizens withhold any sympathy or concern, and instead opt for ridicule. The screenshot below is taken from Chinese social media app Weibo. They read: “She deserved crying in BMW now’!” and “the result of a gold-digger”. These comments not only ignored her pain, but also linked her past image as a “gold digger” with her experience of domestic violence, implying that she was was ultimately deserving of the abuse.
News media platforms are also exacerbating the spread of the “gold-digger woman” label, with clickbait articles titled “Domestic violence, divorce, her karma finally came”. Titles like this can attract a lot of clicks, and ultimately propagate the idea that women are manipulative gold-diggers who deserve punishment.
Most mainstream social media platforms at least claim to care about hate-speech, and say they strive to be safe spaces for all users. As this briefing demonstrates, the “gold-digger” narrative is often utilised online to vilify women and to downplay their accomplishments. If social media platforms are serious about creating safe environments for all users, they should consider content that propagates this stereotype when monitoring for misogynistic material.